Where does adultery begins?
"Do you not understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man." Matthew 15:17-20
Adultery, like sex, is beginning to lose its meaning, opting for a more literal sense of the word. Sex, is regarded as a fun activity, something for any man or woman in love (even love now has many meanings) or even not in love but are fond of each other's looks/physical attributes. It's pleasurable, in the case of some women, validation (as i've learnt from watching Sex & the City, something of it that i will post both here and
skitzels). Sex can be communication, speaking of adoration or love. But mostly, sex is the course of action by which a man inserts his penis into a woman's vagina.
Matthew 19:9 quotes Jesus saying, "And i say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexuals immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
When does adultery occurs in the definition of our society?
I have read in some blogs of experiences of being cheated, the various circumstances in which they tell of it. Some consider fondling, the holding of hands to be a form of adultery. Some say not until they have sex. One particularly dubious one, when i asked him if he considered oral sex with a married woman to be adulterous, was that he said, no. And after that, i asked him if your wife had oral sex with another man then, he answered "YES".
There were some who said that if they lied to them and went to see another woman, it was adulterous behavious. Those reactions above are mainly by women, unless noted otherwise. When i asked some guys, it was ever only about physical confrontation. They can give group hugs, not one-on-one hugs, look eye-to-eye but not touch. No fondling. No sex. But they wanna have physical confrontation with others, wishing for women to be ultra tolerant.
And i read with dismay, how certain couples resort to using fantasizing other people to enhance the 'effect' of their sex lives. How during sex with her partner, that a woman would dream about another guy doing his thing with her and vice versa. How much of this action constitute adultery? (many sex therapists actually encourage this, bothers me to no ends)
Pornography. I've read many a times in CLEO mag (reading off my gf's mags) about confused women who write in to tell that they found their boyfriends or husbands watching porn, having porn, or downloading porn, stacking porn mags somewhere safe and etc. But they cannot decide for sure, where does the adultery begin?
Quoting from
healthynewage:
"For the male, desire and arousal may begin by just the sight of a beautiful woman. As any man can tell you, love at first sight can happen - men respond incredibly to visual stimuli."
It happens. I believe it happens all the time, to both man and woman. We are sub-consciously eternal sinners, and consciously tempted every second of our life. But God has this to say to us:
With men, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.The answer to the question posed in the topic lies in Matthew 5:27-32 which reads:
27 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 "But i say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already commited adultery with her in his heart. 29 "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 31 "Furthermore it has been said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 "But i say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."
Even Jesus can't please everybody!
While on my way to my uncle's house (mother's brother), had a brief discussion about church, the length of services and about pastors with my mum and HER aunt (my mother's mother's sister).
My mum was quoting of how her aunt reacted when my mum said that the service was 2 hours, gasping, "wah so long ar, come out earlier la, my church sermon 10 mins only."
But as she sat there, she was so taken aback by the message ministered to her that when the sermon finally concluded, she went, "so fast over already?"
Mum went on to quote her about the whole time in church, how she said she'll walk out in the middle of the sermon or so, sceptical about the preaching and all. After it was all over, she felt as if God had ministered to her through the pastor, and she kept wanting to go back for more.
I liked my church pastor; he talks lots of sense at times, and while some people thinks he's quoting the Bible in his own way, i'll assume that God is working marverlous works through him.
I told my grand-aunt, "Even though we sing praises about the pastor, i still know of some people bashing his style, his preaching and his interpretation of God's Word. Some find themselves outgrowing what pastors have to say about how to live life." (something i feel is a shame, how could one outgrow God's word, or outgrow living in the light of His Word)
My aunt, coming out of her stride of using Manglish, said, "The church will always have its doubters. But what can a pastor do? He can only preach so much on a Sunday. Let's face it, no one can please everybody. Not even Jesus! Even Jesus couldn't please everybody!"
I pondered, and had nothing but to agree. Yes, Jesus was perfect, yet some people were dissatisfied with Him. What more could we want?
Then we talked about persecution and trials, the molding and the journeys. How we often take for granted and think that life is good. We forget that with the persecution, comes the molding and then the end product. But people think that, "No lah.. I go to church all is well, no persecution and sufferings in walking in the Lord's directions."
And my grand-aunt, again, made some sense when she said, "Satan even dared to tempt Jesus, to send people to persecute him and torture him, what more us? If he dared to try to persecute Jesus, why would he not want to do the same unto us?"
Walking in Christ is not easy, and the journey is long and winding. All i can count on is to walk close enough to Jesus, and with Him and through Him, all things are possible.
A reminder for moving
Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecies spoken to you when the elders of the church laid their hands on you. Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right, and God will save you and those who hear you. (1 Tim 4:14-16 NLT)
Prayer
LORD, I know that You have a purpose for my life and I want to recognize and appreciate the gifts you have given me to accomplish it. When I feel so pressured by the demands on my time and for my attention, help me to focus on the things that are truly important,especially my relationship with You, which is the most important of all. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I think this has some particular meaning for me, as i'm 2 days away from moving to Sydney, starting all over in a new environment and country, that i should not stray away from God. It's so easy to be lazy and stop seeking God in a new place, that this email from
E-min ( a daily subcription to verses and prayers that we could use, read about my post
here ) has reminded me to constantly walk in obedience.
Dear Father, I will no doubt have to find a church for me in Sydney, and if anyone knows of one, pls feel free to let me know. I pray that the Lord will guide me, and minister to me and help me find a church i can belong to for a year. Help me to juggle the many areas of my life, and keep things well balanced, from my studies to family and relationships. Also, bless all those around me in Malaysia, my family and friends and especially Jamie, my dearest who i will leave behind, that we both would cope well being apart. Hinder us from constant misunderstandings and arguments, and instead lend support and encouragement to one another.
And remind me, when i'm straying away from the light, that i should roam in darkness, that You will lead me back. In Jesus' name, Amen.
A pastor with guts***
***This here is a prayer by a Christian pastor, concerned with the state of this world and thereby praying with reference to Christian doctrines. If you are not a believer, please refrain from taking this as a form of condemnation or condemning people's beliefs.***
When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:
"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and call it Pluralism. We have worshiped other gods and called it Multiculturalism.We have endorsed perversion and called it Alternative Lifestyle. We have exploited the poor and called it the Lottery. We have rewarded laziness andcalled it Welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it Choice. We have shot abortionists and called it Justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it Building Self-Esteem. We have abused power and called it Politics. We have coveted our neighbour’s possessions and called it Ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it Freedom of Expression. We have ridiculed the time-honoured values of our forefathers and called it Enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and Bless these men and women who have been sent to direct us to the centre of Your Will. We ask it in the Name of Your Son, the living Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Amen."
The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest.
In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.
Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God."
A testimony
We know that 80% of the town of Meulaboh in Aceh was destroyed by the. Tsunami waves and 80% of the people also died. This is one of the towns that was hit the hardest.
But there is a fantastic testimony from Meulaboh. In that town are about 400 Christians.
They wanted to celebrate Christmas on December 25th but were not allowedto do so by the Muslims of Meulaboh. They were told if they wanted to celebrate Christmas they needed to go outside the city of Meulaboh on a high hill and there celebrate Christmas.
Because the Christians desired to celebrate Christmas the 400 believersleft the city on December 25th and after they celebrated Christmas they stayed overnight on the hill.
As we all know the morning of December 26 there was the earthquake followed by the Tsunami waves destroying most of the city of Meulaboh and thousands were killed. The 400 believers were on the mountain and were all saved from destruction.
Now the Muslims of Meulaboh are saying that the God of the Christians punished us for forbidding the Christians from celebrating Christmas inthe city. Others are questioning why so many Muslims died while not even one of the Christians died there.
Had the Christians insisted on their rights to celebrate Christmas in the city, they would have all died. But because they humbled themselves and followed the advice of the Muslims they all were spared destruction and can now testify of God's marvelous protection.
This is a testimony of the grace of God and the fact that as believers we have no rights in the world. Our right is to come before God and commit our lives to Him. Our right is kneeling down before the Lord almighty and commit our ways to Him. He is our Father and is very capable to care for His children. Praise the Name of the Lord.
Bill Hekman, Pastor Calvary Life Fellowship in Indonesia.
Soul food
A man asked a Christian man, "You've been going to church for the last 30 years, do you ever fully remember a single sermon?"
And the Christian man answered. "No, i go to church every Sunday, but truth to tell i can't fully recite to you a sermon preached by the pastor."
So the man asked, "30 years of going to church seem to be in vain i suppose? Were you sleeping?"
The Christian man replied, "
No, i was not sleeping. I've been married for 25 years, ate close to 30,000 meals my wife cooked, but i can't remember for the life of me, what my wife cooked for breakfast, lunch and dinner the day before. But what i do know however, is that whatever my wife cooked, i ate with delight, knowing that it nourishes me, fills my hunger and appetite. My wife's cooking has never failed to satisfy me."
He continued, "
And the same with my church. Over 30 years, i've listened to more than 1500 sermons, none of which i can fully remember, yet each and every one of these sermons has never failed to encourage me, lift me, inspire me, and nourish me. It fills my spirit with God's wisdom and strength, takes away all disappointment and despair, and provide me with ample courage to share my overflowing cup with others who needed encouragement. God has never left my spirit hungry or my heart heavy, because there is always someone next to me who needs encouragement from my overflowing cup."
What a blessing! And so many times, when God has called upon us to share his Word, we have often failed and shy-ed away from expanding his Kingdom. Sometimes, when we seem to carry heavy hearts, all we need is God's grace to lift us, to give us the courage to share ourselves and our lives with others, that we may be a beacon and light for the world.
We should know that life is full of problems, (coming out from your mother's womb was the first major problem) and that God is always here to deliver us from it, and in return we should all share of the goodness of God.
If we think we have the capacity to solve all our problems, we carry with us all the burden of solving all future troubles by ourselves. But if we realise that it is God who carries us during the troubled times in our lives, we see the goodness of God and feel obliged that we share it with everyone. Let us be the light of the world!
If God was at the pulpit
Christians have a way with spending Sundays; we go to church, listen to the pastor preach whatever he has to say. Catholics go to a 'mass', where they have Holy Communion and listen to the priest speak words of wisdom. But how receptive are we to God's word? Just how much of God's word do we hear and nod about in church, agreeing, yet not practicing?
To some extent, we're all consumers in the church. We feed off sermons, music by the band, altar helpers, usherers, etc. Sometimes we're a part of it, sometimes we're not. We appreciate our pastors when they encourage us. Validate them when they don't. We seem to forget, no matter how anointed someone in the church is, they are still human. We hate labels and denominations ourselves, yet labelling exists in every inch of society, including within the labels and denominations in the churches.
We have hypocrites, Christians behaving like non-Christians, uptight Christians, Sunday morning Christians, evangelical Christian, backslidden Christian, American Christian, Malaysian Christian. Pastors can be insightful, encouraging, fake, articulate (or vice versa), blessed, and most interestingly i've seen, a CEO of the church. Perhaps i do not speak of everyone or anyone in particular, but subconsciously, we all have made our own judgments on things and each have their own perceptions of the things around them.
We all play a part in the superficiality of this world. We know what a pastor should do. And when he does it wrong, we barrage him. With the congregation, we know what to do, and when we see peers doing it wrong, we get all negative about the entire church. Are we not suppose to be in church to worship God?
If pastors began to be pushy, strict, boring and keep calling for more offerings and tithing, should we all leave? If God was at the pulpit, what do we do?
God has a purpose for you, and everything. It's amazing how we would all think and react different if only God was at the pulpit. But how often do we lament about pastors, congregations and the church as a whole? Try to understand that perhaps behind the grandness of a pastor standing on the pulpit looking at you, preaching, that maybe his CEO likeness may be required to run a church nowadays. We are in an increasingly dark and uncertain age, where the difference between good and evil is just a fine line. And God's people, whether doing good or evil will be dealt with individually. And who said that Christian life is easy? The Devil is looking for weaknesses in you to exploit, that you may succumb to him.
If God wishes to speak to you, all you need to do is listen. Worship bands do not play for you, they play for God. We sing praises and worship with our voices not for neighbours, pastors, people but for God. We give because we first receive, and how do we, recipients, outgive the giver? How do we outgive God? Pastors have sermons to deliver, but it is God who prepares the message, and the message you ought to receive, is only from God Himself. Pastors only have words. You can do nothing about it. But i tell you that God always has something special to say to us, to remind us, to guide us.
And if God showed himself on the pulpit, how inspired would you be? How much do you see yourself, your thoughts, words and reaction change? Would you listen more carefully, pray harder, sing louder, give more? Just because a pastor is human, doesn't mean God is not with him, working through him. Weaving His brilliance on him (or her) trying hard to break down the barrier in our minds. And wishing for us to leave all our worries behind, all our negativities and concentrate solely on God.
Where would you be, when God shows himself on the pulpit?
An everyday prayer.
As i open my Gmail account everyday, i seem to get an alert everyday from Mon - Fri. Since i've been busy blogging here and there, dropping lines everywhere, i ignored those alerts. And so as i opened to check and clear some emails, i click on one mail which titled "Today's Seed from E-MIN".
I clearly remember that i did not sign up for something like this. I thought it was spam. It turned out to be a message, an everyday free message provided by
E-Min with a passage from the Bible, and a response that we might use as a prayer. It was clearly my mum's doing.
She took my email and sign up for me. It's obvious my mum knows me too well, that i would wake up in the morning, find myself rushing for time, cursing drivers who drive too slow that i will forget to pray until i sleep, and by then, i would be a little tired at times and fall asleep while praying. i like prayers to be long chats, rather than a formal prayer. But i do have chats with God throughout the day when i'm alone. If i'm ever alone.
How often it is, that busy lives, schedules, work, play, friends, partners, to have bits of your time, that we neglect Jesus and talking to him? And how often do we read the Bible? I guess E-Min would be a good way to do both, even if it is just random passages in the Bible. But i found the prayer to be very helpful, to serve as a reminder, to have the Lord letting you know that he is here and in control. I opened the email, dating back to 26th January and here is the passage and the subsequent response for us.
Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of theLORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turnfrom evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. (Psa 34:11-14 NIV)
Prayer: LORD, I know that there may be times when I cannot be atpeace with everyone because not everyone may be seeking peace, andtheir choices and actions can influence situations just like mine.But help me to always seek peace first, and when seeking peace andpursuing it requires a compromise of what I feel or want, help me tosurrender those feelings and desires to You, and trust that it honorsYou and strengthens our relationship when I do. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I love my mum. She's the greatest. Thank God for my mum!
Subscribe to to E-Min
here
God's exceedingly abundant grace
It's been more than a month since
the tsunami hit South Asia on Boxing day. It is easy for us at home to blog, talk, read, discuss, think, joke or anything about it, since we were all very lucky to have enough money to have a home not along any of the coasts that were hit.
Yes, i feel lucky that i am not affected. I still have my hands and legs to carry me around and make a better day. I am happy i'm alive every minute of my life. But most of all, i thank God that my family too is here. I believe that any individual who lives near enough to affected areas must be thanking God for not being involved in such an epic destruction.
But how could one deal with a situation when God preserves you, but not your entire family? How do we react when God saves you, but only to go on without your family? Would we still be in church singing praises to the Lord, thanking God for saving me? Are we still capable of feeling blessed for the Lord spared you? Where do we find emotion and courage to withstand something as painful as this?
In Job!
Job lost 10 children, wealth and cattle all in a day. In modern times, that would call for immediately psychological treatment before the attempted suicides that would take place. Today, if i lost 10 children, i would die. Inside and outside. I will go insane. I will curse God. I think i would. I will lose it all; my mind, heart, body, faith and soul. It is improbable that one could recover on his own strength. If all close to you were swept away but you, you'll wished to be swept away as well.
We will question the timing of God, the timing of the disaster, the nature of it, why me and my family, why did this had to happen? All we would think of is why. Which is of course natural. Why is often easier to ask than how. Easier to absorb and execute. How is never an easy task. It takes effort. Cursing God is much easier.
But if we knew Job, who he was and HOW he overcame the tragedies of his life, we would know that there is still hope if we believe so. When everyone would have turned away and cast God through a series of tongue-lashing, screaming and senseless bashing, he still asked why, and how. Job was a blameless man. He was obedient, yet suffered in a test which he knew not of. He still obeyed God when his wife was turning against God.
He chose not to curse God. He accepted it. I never thought of something more tragic than losing 10 children in one go, which i think can be used as a modern metaphor for the very meaning of today's lives (since there is hardly families with 10 children anymore). To lose them all, is perhaps to lose all meaning in your life. We have no direction, the things that satisfies us are no longer useful.
But God's grace and mercy is overwhelmingly abundant. Job kept believe in his faith, in God that he would be deliver from all this madness. At the very down point of his life, he remain true and faithful to God. Not many of us are able to do this, but as Job have done, so can we i believe. It's hard when the battle is in the mind and intangible.
Persevere, and wait for God's timing, for we only have watches to know and measure time, but God has been watching for all eternity. For all Job endure, he was blessed exceedingly, exceeding what he had before, and everything was restored due to his faithfulness to the Lord.
I know all this is easier said than done, but, somehow we all have to endure and persevere through the darkest moments of our lives. We ought to remain faithful and surely goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives.
However difficult the circumstance, know that God is always watching and is never late. Easier said than done, but do keep in mind, the volatilities of a human heart. Let God be in control.
